NOVEMBER, 2004

2005: JULY, JUNE, MAY, APRIL, MARCH, FEBRUARY, JANUARY,
2004: DECEMBER, OCTOBER, SEPTEMBER, AUGUST, JULY, JUNE

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 - I headed over to the Voice Studio to record the conversations we'd been working on. It went smoothly and I was done after three hours, back home by 7:30. I headed over to Jim and Mike's to dine on a nice Thanksgiving dinner prepared by Amy. She outdid herself - two Chinese turkeys, baked sweet potatoes (or yams, what's the difference?), mashed potatoes, rolls, cranberry sauce, stuffing, jello surprise, green beans and a delicious upside down pineapple cake for dessert. Mike, Jim, Ben, Tom Amy and myself sat around two tables and drank wine and beer and dined a 'hao chi' thanksgiving dinner well past midnight. Kudos to the chef...

Monday, November 29, 2004 - I got in a cab at 12:25 this afternoon and began a long, ugly journey to Minghang. It should have been a twenty minute/30 yuan cab ride, but I had directions to the wrong center and ended up spending 76 rmb on the first cab, then 42 on the next one, and got to class an hour late. I saw most of southern Shanghai, past by the indoor ski slope and fell asleep for a little while. It was an exercise in apathy - to be in a stressful situation- late for class, fare climbing quickly - but I knew I could expense the cab and I probably only had a days left for this two-bit school. There were four girls, two of them I've had for a few weeks now, and the third spoke decent English. I don't know why the fourth was there. I taught them the two hours they paid for and caught a bus and subway home to Xujiahui. Here begins one of the last chapters in my visa extension ordeal. I am long overdue and have been exhausting ever possibility I've come across to avoid paying the full 5,000 yuan. I got a number to a guy named Ludo, a Hungarian-Romanian who could pass for an American, and relayed some information to him. He informed me he'd do it for 3,000 yuan. I picked up a letter of extension from T.R.A. Engineers, went home and got the cash, Temporary Residence Permit and my application and cabbed over to his work. We talked for an hour and a half, first about the intricacies of dealing with the Public Security Bureau and then about business in China. He's got some ideas and would be a good guy to get into business with. If I wasn't cutting my losses in a few weeks and heading down south I'd start with one of these scams. There is a lot of money to be made in China, and English is an exploitable cash cow. I'll keep his card and see what happens when I get back, whenever that may be. He's got my money and my passport, so I really hope I see Ludo again...

Sunday, November 28, 2004 - Morning came rather quickly and I beelined around the corner for my 10:45 class. It was Lesson 3, again, and the hour went fast enough. I bought a dvd on the way home - Frankenfish - a B movie that barely made it out on video. The cast is full-time waiters and waitresses, I'm pretty sure. How do these movies get produced? It came highly recommended from Dangerous Dave, otherwise I wouldn't have spent more than a quarter-second on it. I made another fried egg sandwich (trying to bring my average up from 1.3 a day) and watched too much of the movie, then tried to get a little sleep before teaching at International School. I walked over at 3:30, dropped didactic science till 6 and went over to Sun-Moon in Metro City to do a few things online. I ran into my contact Robert, the same duplicious scheming schmuck that has been mentioned here. Here is a sample of our conversation - "Robert, I just saw a few students who were going to the English Corner that I was supposed to be teaching tonight. They were disappointed to hear that it had been cancelled." "No Jon, it has not been cancelled, it was given to another teacher." "Hmm, that's interesting, because you told me twice that it was cancelled on the phone today. And you also went back on your word about giving me advance notice on cancelling classes." "Well you see Jon, yes, we will need to reduce more of your classes too, you see, we have a new foreign teacher, and he is cheaper! Sun-Moon cannot pay such high money to you - if we continued paying you 150 yuan an hour we would surely go bankrupt! [Ed. note: 150 yuan an hour is the standard rate in Shanghai. That's what I make at four other schools, that's more or less what every part-time teacher makes per hour]. Maybe there are other schools you have heard of where teachers earn that much, but they will surely be bankrupt in a few months! Sun-Moon is a fine school!" At this point I decided against asking him if he had received his MBA at Harvard or Oxford, or whether he had finished high school. I reminded him of past conversations and web of duplicity he has been weaving since I met him. His logic is totally unbelievable. Whatever, I'll be happy to leave. I finished up and took off to have dinner, buy Seasons 3 and 4 of the Sopranos (finally got him down to 105 yuan total, $12.50).

Saturday, November 27, 2004 - I had lunch at Vicky's and tutored her until 3pm, then went home for a few minutes before my 5-7 at Xujiahui. I taught the same lesson twice, and will teach it again tomorrow. Tomorrow I will teach the same lesson at International House as I've taught the last four weekends. It's not that I'm lazy, its that my creative license has been reduced to the point where I am a teaching robot. This would be acceptable if I could resume teaching the kids as Origato Roboto, but its the same damn sentences and conversations that English people don't have. "May I ask a favor from you?" Of course Mr. Wilson, it will be my pleasure." I busted out and headed home and watched Run Lola Run. I'd bought the dvd, but it is dubbed in English. The English version sucks. There is not a whole lot of dialogue, but the little bit still screws up the original. I headed over to Mike's with some take-out and beer. We watched the end of Starsky and Hutch and eventually made our way out the door to the Kangeroo. There was supposed to be a rugby match there at 3:45am, like a few weeks earlier, but it never came on. We played some darts, drank beer and chatted up the extras. There were three guys there drinking - 17 year olds I later found out. An Australian, a German and a Dutch guy. They went to the International High School. Kinda wierd. I pointed out that if they played their cards right, they could be drinking in this pub in ten years and be me, or another ten plus and be dangerous dave. Only time will tell. It must be very strange going to High School in Shanghai, but maybe Danville would have been strange to them. We went back to Mike's eventually and kicked it there for a spell. Amy made cheeZee toasties in the oven that Jim and Mike had bought that day. Mmmm, cheese is a luxury here. I cabbed home at an hour not usually associated with god.

Friday, November 26, 2004 - Another few hours teaching at Metro City, then on to the Voice Dub people in the building next to my apartment. Amy and I went through about 100 conversations, prepping the voice-overs for the recording session we'll do in the studio next week. Voice acting is no piece of piss. Stage actors have the visual realm to bring their characters to life - but as professional voice actors we have to convey the mood, tone and meaning using only our voice. Seven and a half hours of prep work this week will culminate in studio time on Monday - stay tuned! I got some Chinese take out for dinner and will stay in tonight and watch dvds. It's cold outside, colder than it gets in SF and I'm exercising my right to watch Airplane II again, read some of a good book and listen to Oakenfold's Live in Havana.

Thursday, November 25, 2004 - I taught the same Great Wall and China lesson to a new hotel group at the Howard Johnson. I tried to invite them to the Thanksgiving dinner at Tian Sheng, but they had to work the Thanksgiving dinner at their hotel. They were all food and beverage workers and had a good idea what Thanksgiving was. I don't really know. I explained to them about the pilgrams and how the Native Americans helped us, then one of them asked something like "The Americans do not like the old americans very much, no?" Hmm, it's not as easy as that Roosevelt. There were many negotiations, and right now the redskins have casinos all over the United States - everyone's happy! I studied some Chinese with my tutor on Huihai Lu, then took Line 1 down to Xuhui and walked to Tian Sheng. There were already 12 or so of my students waiting for me. I was surprised at the turnout. Maybe they thought I was going to pay. There were too many people for one table so we got relocated to VIP Room #6. VIP rooms at Chinese restuarants are not generally on par with VIP rooms in Las Vegas. Nonetheless, we had our own room and made the most of it. We ordered up a lot of goods for the hotpot (hotpot is a boiling pot of soup in the middle of a circular table. Lots of veggies, meats, eggs and other unrecognizable food is thrown in to cook it.) and placed the first of many beer orders. At this hotpot, everyone gets a free beer or soda. 14 beers is a good start. I was impressed with the game they brought. I've seen Chinese people turn down offers time and time again to drink beer, but when there are only one or two laoweis around, they are much more gregarious and thirsty. Dangerous Dave was there - he initiated many gambeis (empty glass) and set the tone for the rest of the meal. He got me a wife very quickly, though I still don't know her name. I'll never be a very good teacher cause it takes me so damn long to remember people's names. We ate, drank and butchered each other's language for a few hours. Mike came towards the end, Dave left - "I'm chinesed out, mate" - and we headed to Haoledi at Metro City for some KTV (karaoke). Jason picked up the tab at the hotpot - 300 yuan ($36, not bad to feed 14 people with good food, and get them drunk) - so I spent an hour's wage and made two shopping trips to the little liquor mart in the Haoledi. This KTV joint has 50, maybe 100 individual rooms of different sizes - outfitted with a sofa, table, TV and karaoke computer. Go shopping, then relax in the rent-a-living-room. They gave me the mic and I hacked my way through a few songs, either peppering the lyrics with swear words or singing it gosphel style. The other English teacher - a chinese woman - told me she knew these bad words I was using. I figured swearing is not so bad when 85% of the people don't know what you're saying. I speak as much Chinese as my students speak English, so.... A few more students came, one of them celebrating a birthday. We ate cake, and as always happens when the Chinese mix beer and cake, we had a cake fight. I continued the cake fight until all the cake was eaten or on people's faces. We eventually left and all piled into an elevator to git on out. For some reason we ended up in the basement parking garage, and I decided to get out. I'm not sure why I got out, and I'm not sure why I didn't get back in. I spent ten minutes finding my way up the two floors to get out, as pride precluded the option of taking the elevator back up. It was raining, none of my students were outside and I took a very unnecessary taxi three blocks home. For shame!

Wednesday, November 24, 2004 - My Wednesday morning class loves me. They are all in their mid-twenties and when I come in to teach them once a week, they get a reprieve from learning grammar from the Chinese teacher and get to participate in fake marriages, learn slang and speak a lot more chinese than they do the rest of the week. They loved me more when I invited them out for a hotpot dinner tomorrow night at Tian Sheng, the standby next to the old pad Mike and lived in. It won't be Thanksgiving dinner americano style, but it will be interesting, to say the least. I taught them about my family and shopping at a supermarket, then I got lunch with them downstairs. Another student insisted on paying again. There is such a thing as a free lunch. I raced home to meet a girl who was looking at the apartment. I'm trying to get it sublet beginning the first of the year, so if you know anyone in Shanghai looking for a place starting New Years day, hit me back. She was interested in it, but we'll see what pans out. I headed back out at 1:45 and met up with Dangerous Dave. We took the subway up to People's Square and split - he to Howard Johnson, I went to the Four Seasons -- both of us to teach our Hotel worker classes. It was smooth sailing - 90 minutes of The Great Wall of China. I went to a cafe on Huihai afterwards to meet up with my Chinese tutor for a few minutes before heading over to Pudong for my Direct English class. It was a long two hours - none of us wanted to be there - especially since I was finishing up the grammar in book 2. The second hour was killed with Vocabulary and an enlightening discussion on the variances of international breakfasts. One of my students will say an absolute minimum, and if she does talk its probably in chinese. I don't know why she comes, but I'll continue to pepper her with questions, in Chinese and English. I wrapped up at 9pm and met up with Dave before taking the subway back to Xuhui. We stopped by Harley's for a few drinks, then Dave had to head home for some "house-cleaning". I caught a cab to Cotton's and met up with Ben, Marielle, Amy, Jim, Mike and a guy named Doogal who I called Doogan all night. Nice guy. I tried to help him while he was playing scrabble with Amy and Marielle, but I was apparently tipping the scales too much. A few drinks and a few hours later we departed. I walked a bit and caught a cab ride home. The cabbie liked me, I gave him the name William, he gave me a free ride. Viva Shanghai...

Tuesday, November 23, 2004 - I had my Tuesday afternoon class changed to Wednesday, so I had the day free, until I took a few hours work at the Voice Dub company. I met up with Mike and Amy at the Rendezvous Cafe for some bacon, eggs and coffee, then walked to the gym for an overdue workout. There were a bunch of models there sitting around eating lunch or something. They were filming a commercial in the studio adjacent to the gym. Some of the girls were voguing, a haunting flashback for me when I whored myself out as a male model during my ignominious days in Los Angeles. Two muscle groups and 70 minutes later I headed home to quickly prep for the readings. I ended up working for four hours with Amy and the crew next door at the Voice Dub spot. It got tedious, we were doing work that they should have done, but whatever, we were getting paid. Princess and I ducked out at 6 and went to UBC to get some dinner. Bacon-cheeseburger and some Internet work, then wrapped up the evening with the purchase of Airplane II (yes, it answers all the questions that the first Airplane left unanswered), Football Factory (check it out if you haven't seen it yet, though its not a good date movie) and Run Lola Run. I don't know if it's dubbed in English (bad) or in German (good).

Monday, November 22, 2004 - I got a wake up girl from a girl named Melanie looking sublet the place in January. It was a little activity than I needed at 9am, but I parlayed. There was no water in our apartment - for reasons unknown - so I cooked some eggs and tea and headed over to Dave's to take a shower. I cabbed down to Minghang to teach my beginning English class, then picked up some bread (figuratively and literally). I went out to eat with Dave and Marie at a Shanghainese joint on Tianyaoqiao Lu.

Sunday, November 21, 2004 - A long, arduous day of dropping science at the front of the classroom. I got up around 8, got out of bed around 8:30 and headed to meet Tina (my contact at the school) at the bus stop after a quick breakfast and cup of coffee. I was late, predictably, and our bus didn't catch us up on the back nine. When we got dropped off in Pudong, we hastened our pace to the school, Tina running, me still walking. She and I both knew that its not a big deal if I get to class ten minutes early or ten minutes late - no one's gonna say anything either way. I taught in two different classrooms - the usual routine - eight to ten years old, low-level English, A.D.D. prominent in all of the pupils, except when they are called on. My second class was better. I taught them "When the cat's away, the mice shall play." They learned the figurative and literal meanings, I think. At 11:30 Tina escorted me to a restaurant. Some gale ji and nui rou. Idle curiosity reared it's ugly head again, and I inquired what Chinese people thought of black people. "Most do not like them. The children especially. I do not know why." Nearly all the black people in Shanghai are from Nigeria, or somewhere close to there; I'm not sure if the Chinese perception of blacks would improve if the majority were African-Americans. My presence in the outer regions of China has elicited interested responses, I wonder how the Tibetans and Ulgher would regard black visitors, if they have only come across a few laowei in their life. I taught two more classes in Pudong, then caught a bus back to Xuhui. I walked to Ladder and started my Sunday afternoon gig. The same examples, the same jokes, the same verbs, the same questions, the same story. After these six hours I was mosty toasty and ready for a burger, beer and bed, but I had one last two hour special at Metro City. It was an English corner, so pretty easy stuff. I had a few girls from my Tuesday class and another English teacher. Sailed smoothly to 8:30, made my exit, and stopped by a neighborhood restaurant for some rice, eggs, vegetables and Taiwan sausage. Bought 25th Hour and The Negotiator, but ended up finishing the second season of the Sopranos and sleeping well.

Saturday, November 20, 2004 - I taught Vicky again at her house, then caught a cab and bus out to Pudong to teach the kids. Glossed over a few lessons, then came back home. I had a 7-9 English corner at Metro City, but when I arrived I ascertained that it was cancelled and rescheduled to Sunday. Fine by me, as I'll collect on both days. I grabbed 4 beers at Lawsons and went to Dangerous Dave's flat. He was getting ready to take his bird Marie out on a proper date - Xintandi or another classy area like that. I walked over to Mike and Jim's to meet up with Amy and Tom and we all hopped into cabs to head over to Tabanyaki for all you can eat and all you can drink Japanese delites. It was relatively expensive at 165 yuan a head, but a large chunk of wasabi helped belay the cost. Any man worth his salt will accept The Wasabi Challenge at some point in his life, and I sold for the bargain basement price of 120 yuan. I would have done it for less, they would have paid more. It wasn't that bad - don't believe the hype - but it helps to have a robust constitution. The sushi, sashimi and sake was superb. We ventured over to C's where I stayed for a few beats, drinks and stories, then I made my way home. I had 8 hours on Sunday, cut me some slack, Sucka MC.

Friday, November 19, 2004 - A slightly hungover day - I grabbed a quick breakfast at the Rendezvous, then taught my 1-3 at Metro City. I had a voucher for a free pair of shoes from the marathon I'd run, so I trekked up to West Nanjing Lu and found the Mizuno office. As I expected, they did not have 48.5, so I got a 44 for Mike. Stayed in this night...

Thursday, November 18, 2004 - I taught the hotel workers at 3pm at the Howard Johnson, then went to a coffee shop on Huihai Lu to meet a language partner and work on an article for the Priv. Later that night I headed over to Tang Hui. When I got there, I waited ten minutes at the bar for a drink, but the bartender was spending half his time talking to some girls. There seemed to be a lot of people working, but no one tending bar. I know it costs five to ten yuan an hour to get a cute girl to tend bar, so I suppose its tempting to cut back on the staff and send your clientele to Lawson's to get cans of beer. I finished these in front talking to your ex. We stayed for awhile, then I headed over to the Eager Beaver with Tom and Nick. I had a colorful conversation with Tom, who was drunk and taking a very high moral ground with observations on literature. Apparently Tom has been reading the heavy-hitters - Shakespeare, Joyce, The Bible, Milton, etc - and didn't have many kind words for fluff writers like Kerouac and Hunter S. Thompson, who are typists, hacks, and oh yeah - "Kerouac! He's the biggest cunt of them all!" If you want to give me your opinion on something, ok, but don't preach it as gosphel and you better respect my opinion. Like Tony Soprano said to Richie Aprile, "Those who want to get respect, give respect." I dub thee warned. Anyways, we were drunk and it was well after 3am, time to go to Pegasus. The DJ spinning there was not extraordinary - we've seen better there - but Mike beelined to the dance floor. I tried to buy a Heineken, but they wanted 40 yuan. I buy very few 40 yuan beers - anything over that forget about it. Mike informed me that drafts wer 25 kuai, and I could well live with that. We stayed at Pegasus until Mike sent over a pretty and plump chinese girl to talk to me. I used most of my chinese in my opening statement before she informed me that she'd lived in Wisconsin for awhile, spoke English, did I like this club. I telepathically communicated to Mike and Nick that our run at Pegasus was over. The place was pretty much cleared out anyways. We caught a cab to the Eager Beaver but it was long closed, so we abused the Lawson's on Donping Lu. There is a Lawsons on Maoming Lu that saw no end to drunken debauchery, but the Maoming scene has died down a lot since Mike went streaking through 13 of the 19 bars during one of his famous ketamine binges. Mike and I continued on home, but after walking for an undetermined amount of time, we reached Zhaojiabing. We both had a twenty minute pre-dawn saunter to get us back to our respective abodes. I passed a very depressing hospital with 12 - 15 patients in each room, many being attended by doctors. A moment of satori.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004 - I met up with Steve, my contact with the hotel jobs, and went to the 4 Seasons Hotel. I taught a class there to some of the workers, then went to a cafe to work near Shanxi Nan Lu. I taught out in Pudong from 7-9.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 - I had a 1:30 - 4pm in Metro City. My whereabouts this evening are sealed by the Hong Kong D.A.'s office, but Miramax has bought the rights and may exercise them, once the Triad case is closed.

Monday, November 15, 2004 - I taught again in Minghang, an uneventful few hours punctuated with two games of twenty questions. I ate an interesting lunch of a crepe (with a green vegetable, something resembling onions, a fried bread thing, an egg and a stick of grilled meat). Delicious crepe-burrito. I followed that up with some shuijiao. I worked at UBC for a few hours on the site and a few other matters where lives hang in the balance, then headed over to the Hunan place on Urumqi Lu for Paul's going-away fiesta.. He takes off tomorrow for New Zealand. Nothing lasts forever, even cold November rain. We ate a nice long dinner with lots of beer and spicy food, then walked over to The Eager Beaver. We're limiting ourselves to a handful of bars, but Peter does a good job keeping his clientele happy. When things are slow he'll send out some text messages to his best customers, and often that is all they need to get out the door. Dave, Paul and I ventured down to Harley's for another drink, then called it.

Sunday, November 14, 2004 - Another early morning, I was up by 8:40 and out the door by 9:00, then in front of twenty eight year olds at 9:30. I danced around like a monkey for a few hours, then got a call to take care of a class in Pudong. I caught a cab and train out there, rocked and rolled with two older guys, then headed over to International House for another open class. By 6pm I was done, but met up with Eric, Dave and Paul at the Kiwi. Gary was in rare, rare form, breaking bottles together and enjoying some of the liberties of owning a bar. Apparently when he opened up for the bar for Eric and Dave he didn't have his keys, so he punched through the glass and opened it from inside. We decided to leave when he doused a rag with Hennessey and lit it on fire, watching it burn on the counter and floor with idle curiosity. We got a bite to eat at Steak King next door, then I headed home to watch some Sopranos and get finally get some rest.

Saturday, November 13, 2004 - If I'm getting up at 5:30am, I better be climbing a big mountain or being woken up after a twenty minute disco nap to come back outside. I had a marathon, so I suppose that's a worthwhile pursuit. I got into character, jumped into a taxi and got down to the Bund around 6:40. I had to kill 50 minutes, so geared up and stayed warm until the 7:30 start. It's hard to say how many people were there. The first half was good, I ran a 1:32, then things started sliding, as I could have predicted. I didn't have the legs for another 1:32, but the weather and traffic didn't help. I finished in 3:25 during a torrential downpour at Shanghai Stadium. There should be full marathon coverage on a page to be written in the very near future. There was little fanfare at the finish line. I got out of there quickly, picked up a pound of bacon, juice, and two donuts from Mister Donut before heading the 3 blocks home. The warm shower was nice, the eggs and bacon even better. Amy got in around 1 and saw me lounged out with breakfast and Sopranos. I told her I slept through my alarm and missed my race.
Read the FULL REPORT here.
Around 1:30 I headed out into the rain to meet up with Vicky, the Taiwanese lady that I am tutoring. We had talked about getting a massage, but I was late and planned on skipping it. She insisted and showed me her favorite place. She got me lined up with an hour foot massage and a thirty minute body massage, told me it was paid for and to head over to her place afterwards - she wasn't going to get a massage. Nice. I don't seek out a massage, and feel like I have to do something to earn them. The foot massage was a bit intense, a bit painful, and a bit wierd to have someone give my feet so much attention. I have a bit of a reverse foot fetish, a bit like Corrado. I listened to some tunes and relaxed for my time there, then grabbed a cold coffee and mianbao at the 24, then made my way up to her apartment. She lives in a huge complex - a ring of 30 stories building - she's in building #62. We spent an hour and a half working on the textbook, then thirty minutes making recordings and conversing. Around 8pm I headed over to the Korean joint for a BBQ, Soju and dogmeat. Mmmm, gou rou. Mike, Jim and two of Jim's friends from Beijing were there. Amy was on her way. Dave was at the Kiwi with Eric West, who had flown in for the evening. It was nice to drink some alcohol, as intake had been reduced to three drinks over the past two weeks. We did some celebratory shots and enjoyed the dinner. We headed over to the Kangeroo, where we spent a few hours engaging in noble causes. The Kiwis wanted to see some rugby, but it never came on. We cabbed over to Hengshan district and split the group up. We continued things at The Eager Beaver, then on to Dragon Bar. I disengaged around 3 or 4, as I had class in a few hours and I'm just all around weak sauce.

Friday, November 12, 2004 - I taught another new class, very beginning English, at Metro City from 9:30 - 12. It was mostly girls. I gave out a bunch of names, as most of them did not have English names. I fear I may be developing a god complex, assigning names to people as I saw fit. "Oh, you don't have an English name? Well I'll give you one then!" I like to know that I'm doing my part to populate the world with more Dangers and Felons and the occasional Panda. I ran into Benjamin a few days ago, didn't recognize him, asked him his name. "I am Benjamin, you give me this name, it is like 100 dollar money, yes?!" Damn straight, slap me some skin Benji! We had a good few hours, then I ate lunch with some of my students. A nice girl bought me lunch at Metro bite, then I taught Direct English for two hours. At 3pm Amy and I got in a cab with some peeps that are working on the audio accompaniment to a textbook. That's right, Amy and I are professional voice actors (and actresses). It's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, and Friday I made it a reality. It's much more than reading clearing, enunciating every word and interjected the appropriate emotion, its about getting into the characters. It's about becoming them - if only for a few moments - but bringing them to life. Film actors have the luxury of acting visually, but voice actors must breath life into the characters using only our voices. The script wasn't that bad - it looked like someone who has spoken English for more than 3 semesters worked on it. I got to say damn a few times. Amy got to say Impala, which she pronounced with a Beastie Boys drawl (you scream and holla 'bout my Chevy Impala). We only recorded for 30 minutes or so, got paid for 40, though we should have gotten paid for two hours. It took a while to get out to the studio, and its a bit typical to be involved in something for three hours and only get paid for less than an hour. C'est la vie. They got me back in time for my 6pm class around the corner. I taught my 8 year olds Lesson 5, though I realized late that I taught them an old lesson. I'm sure there will be inquiries made to the headmaster. Apparently there was an examination for the second class I was slated to teach, so I went home early. Amy and I ate at the Sydney Cafe, near our house. Salad and pasta, some sort of an attempt at a carbo load. I watched Sopranos and made a few pre-race preparations for the morning before heading to bed around midnight.

Thursday, November 11, 2004 - I needed to get one run in this week to prepare for the marathon on Saturday, so I put in five on the treadmill at the gym. It seemed like a long distance. I was not in fast-marathon shape. A bit later I headed up Nanjing Lu for my class at the Howard Johnson. Nice looking hotel. I taught about 15 Food and Beverage workers - in their early twenties - but acting like twelve years old. They had apparently only recently discovered such phenomenons as the other sex, dating and kissing. I met up with Dave afterwards and we took the Metro to Shimen, then walked to the Four Seasons. I had an interview there, which I found out when I sat down and was introduced to a lady there, so I was happy that Dave recommended wearing a shirt with buttons on it. It was the most legitimate interview I've had here in China, as the lady was from Hong Kong. Biznit is different here. I got the job. Dave and I returned home and went to The Bullfighter's BBQ, next to my old pad. I ate a big meal - all you eat and all you drink "buffets" are a challenge. The establish is challenging me, saying they're going to make money off me. I meet that challenge head on. Andy Varcak knows what I'm talking about. I returned home sate (or sated?) and watched Sopranos, as this is what people who do not hang out in bars at night in Shanghai do.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004 - I headed up with Dave to the Howard Johnson to meet Ivy, my contact for the English lessons. I taught a bit later in Pudong, then headed over to Mike's place. We met up with Dave and tried to find a restaurant on Tianyaoqiao Lu, but our neighborhood sucks for that, apparently, as everything was closed. We eventually made it to the Sydney Cafe for some pasta. Mike and Dave went on to Harley's.

Tuesday, November 7, 2004 - I spent a good portion of my day finding out that I will have to pay an exhorbitant fee to extend my visa. Apparently I'm late or something. My first visa was for sixty days, this one is for 30, and The PRC wants 4,500 yuan. Sheeeeet. I stayed in and sheltered myself from some of the fierce realities in my life.

Monday, November 8, 2004 - I taught out in Minghang for the first time. It was two bored housewives. I gave myself small challenges, like trying to learn what they and their husbands wear to bed. They had a good time. I took a long bus ride back to Xuhui and walked to Jiao Tong University to meet Michelle. I was hungy - hadn't eaten lunch, so we got some gonbau ji at one of the joints behind the Kiwi. It was nearing six o'clock, which was her dinner time, so we went to a few more places to get the next meals. Pizza, then some Sechuan fish. She comes from Sechuan province, so she likes spicy food. I declined an offer to visit Emma at her hair salon and went home, another boring night in the name of detox and marathon training.

Sunday, November 7, 2004 - 8am came very early. I had left the party very early, at two am, but it doesn't matter if I get to sleep at 10:45 or 2:45 - I'll still be tired for a 9am class. I worked a few hours in LuWan with some 8 year olds. I did my thang, then took the Metro back down to Xujiahui and walked to Jiao Tong University. I have another week until I run the Toray Cup Marathon in Shanghai, so it was the last leg in my training. I’ve only been training for about two weeks, as I only recently saw the advertisement for the race. I've run a few marathons in the past two years, so I guess I have a default New Years resolution. I didn't think I would be running one this year, but just my luck, there is a race that finished less than a kilometer from my house. Running at Jiao Tong is very interesting. Usually there are a lot of people there, 99.9% either playing soccer in the middle of the field, or watching. They like to watch from lane one or two, and don’t have any problem parking their bike or scooter there. Sometimes they race around the track. Every other lap or so I get (or have) to kick stray balls back on to the field. Today three different people starting running with me so they could practice their English. I got one offer to come teach an English corner (unstructured English conversation class) and another offer – “I think maybe we friends, I give you my mobile?!” Since I was running for almost three hours, I had pockets of support around the track that would cheer for me when I went by. China is funny. Here is a pic of the track, because like Faith No More, I know you care a lot. So I had to put in my last long run today, 18 miles at the track there. It went smooth, two intervals of six miles, at 42:39, 45:30, then I ran three miles at 24:09. My blood sugar level plummeted very quickly between mile 14 and 15 of that interval and I had to stop early, go to a corner store and buy a kit kat, snickers, sweet bread and two sports drinks. I consumed these very quickly and finished the last three miles at 22 and change. I had 40 minutes or so before my class at International House. I bought a sandwich at the student cafeteria (a post run ritual now), then went to one of the university bathrooms to change and clean myself up a bit. Much to the chagrin of a few people that came in to use the bathroom, I tried to sponge bath a bit, as I was sweaty and sticky and smelly. Not an issue. I made it to class, rocked and rolled for a few hours, then ventured home for another stirfry. It would have been a Sopranos night, but I've finished Season One, waiting for Season Two to be delivered from Mike's place.

Saturday, November 6, 2004 - I met up with Vicky at Starbucks for our lesson. A little before noon I got a call from Robert at Sun-Moon, informing me that Amy had not showed up for her ten am class. I worked 1-3 for her, then met with Robert a bit later to get a new schedule. I got screwed last week - most of my classes dropped, so I dropped the hammer on him and came very close to walking out. He gave me some classes he didn't want to give me, but the squeaky wheel gets the oil, or something like that, and now I'm back at ten hours a week there. I walked home and relaxed a bit before going out. Robert called at 6:30, informing me that he had another class for me, a 7-9 on Saturdays, and would I please return to Metro City for this class. I informed him that I would start next week. I went out later with Amy to Mike and Jim's BBQ at their penthouse. We grilled up some meats and watched Gary's video of flying a Russian mig, a few months ago, somewhere in Russia. On several occasions he noted that he had to abstain from booze and drugs for three weeks in order to do this. It did look pretty sweet, actually, and probably only cost my six month of teaching salary. I didn't stay long as I'm a big fat loser this week and I'm not engaging in many social activities and their peripheral implications.

Friday, November 5, 2004 - I went by a travel agency before class to price out flights. For those interested, a RT from Shangahi to Bangkok runs about three and a quarter. That means, if you get over here for new years, you can fly down to Thailand with Chris Z., Amy, Andy Varcak and myself, and return at your leisure. I taught from 1-3, then went to try and sort my visa situation out. Apparently its out of my hands at this point, but a renewed visa, I do not have. I went to the gym for a long time, then did some grocery shopping for dinner. I made a chinese veggie stirfry with shrimp and chicken. Dave stood me up, so Amy and I dined together before heading over to Mike and Jim's. I stayed for a little bit while they played with power tools. They went out to dinner around midnight, at which point I went to the Eager Beaver to pay Lost and Found Mike (the guy who found my mobile phone over Halloween) a visit. He floated a few drinks my way, but as I'm off the libations for a few days, I didn't extend my stay.

Thursday, November 4, 2004 - Stephen arrived early, again, as I suspected, for our language exchange. I learned a few more words and sounds that I physically cannot speak. He learned what a noun and a verb are. We drank some tea, then suited up for the main event - basketball at Xujiahui. We met up with Tim, an English teacher friend of mine, and ran the courts for 90 minutes or so. Tim and I loved our height, though we'd be shit on a stateside court. I left with Tim and Stephen, then grabbed a coke at an outdoor cafe near Grand Gateway. We had a sit-down on the subject of our illustrious partner, Robert, at Sun-Moon. He is universally scorned because of his duplicity, dishonesty, and uncanny ability to say whatever he thinks you need to hear, consequences be damned. I catalogued my grievances and will likely sever ties this weekend, after I collect some red notes. As a professional, I demand the same level of respect and mutual reciprocity. Some have learned, some will learn - dis jgeil, and you only dis yourself. I have gigs lined up with four other schools and a tutoring job, so don't think that I'll be back selling chiclets in Tijuana any time soon.

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - I more or less know the results to Super Tuesday, or whatever ignominious epithet you may want to give it, and I'd rather not address that issue under these circumstances. [Editor's Note: At 12:33am on Thursday morning, LostnFound Mik, or the Mike who rescued my phone early Sunday morning, sent me the last of 10 or 20 odd election updates via text message: "Kerry concedes". The curator, production team and field writers at Privileged Lifewould like to express their embarrassment in re-electing this dictator and their appreciation of living outside the United States during this ill-omened time] I headed out of my apartment in the late morning for a photo tour of Xujiahui and the environs. I've been meaning to take dozens of pictures of local foods, people, sights, and sides of Michael Alan Pointer, so today would be a start. I got some shots that will be up under the Shanghai Slideshow very shortly. I met up with Emma and Michelle at Jiao Tong and walked through Xujiahui with Amy and the girls to deliver Mike some xia shui jiao (shrimp dumplings). He's moved in to Jim's flat and out of the spartan quarters on Tianyaoqiao Lu. We were all out of ideas of what to do, so we all parted ways. I stopped by the house, then headed back out into the night to teach Lucy, Jacqueline, Yuki, Sophie and Jerry in Pudong. It was a very uninspired lesson - I was losing them and they were losing me. Mike had already informed my of the impending political doom, and I feel into a despondent stupor, spending 30 minutes on the words public and private and finishing up with the mind-numbing grand finale of the ok/all right and a lot/ a great deal dichotomies. So it goes. I listened to St. Germain on the subway ride back and played Solitaire, noticing that I'm long overdue for a W. I met up with Jim, Amy and Mike at Taco Papas on Maoming Nan Lu for two delicious burritos - a steak and a bacon/beans/cheese. We went down to the Kangeroo, an old standby, for the year anniversary. There was apparently free alcohol, but I'm on a sober bender and turned down free beer at a bar for the first time in several decades...

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 - I made my way to Jiao Tong University track by 1pm for some LSD. I was feeling sluggish, again, but didn't have much choice in the matter. I had 15 miles to run, and before I'd approached the first mile I knew I wasn't going to get there. It was hot, I was effete, and there were some chinese guys racing around the track on their mopeds. I had very little to think about, so I went over the different scenarios that would allow me to get my Spyderco knife from my bag and slash their tires. They would know I was a laowei not to be fuct with, and roll their scooters away with great shame and loss of face. As if that wasn't enough, they found it necessary to park them in lanes one and two. I guess 99% of the people there were not using the track for any kind of aerobic exercise, but rather to play soccer and race. In the middle was a soccer field with several games in progress. I didn't mind kicking soccer balls back to the games, or even people passing to each other on the track, just keep out of lane one when I'm near. I dub thee warned. I did some three mile intervals, way above my intended pace, but chipped away at 15. It became a chore to find new ways to try and remember what lap I was on - 39? 9 3/4 miles? Another lap at 1:45? I was tired and didn't get an endorphin high the entire 95 minutes. LSD without an endorphin high is like teaching English on a Sunday morning without a coffee before class - a pain in the ass to get through, but it will all be over in a few hours. I bought a sandwich at the student cafeteria and walked to the street. I was much more exhausted than I should have been for the lackluster effort so I rewarded myself with a taxi home. My taxi driver was a fledgling driver- he didn't know where Wanping Lu/Nandan Lu - two major streets - was. I got about halfway there when I got in the most anti-climactic accident of my life. In stop and go traffic my taxi driver gave another taxi a little love tap. I didn't even realize we'd hit anything, but the two drivers got out and started yelling at each other. This was right in front of a very busy bus stop with several hundred people watching, always amused to see two people about to fight and always annoyed to see their bus potentially delayed. I decided I'd let this one play itself out. I got out and walked home. A bit later I caught a bus to Jing'an and met up with Vicky for a few hours of tutoring. I met her daughter, Sandy, and rapped with her until 9:15, then headed over to Jim and Mikes. I dined on Lawson's sushi there and stayed very briefly.

Monday, November 1, 2004 - November reared its ugly head on a serpentine Monday morning. I knew what was coming to me, and it came to me as no surprise. I knew I would have my teaching schedule cut in half, for no other reason than sometimes they'll screw you before you screw them. Shanghai is a Machiavellian city for teaching English, I dub thee warned. I knew I was facing a grave visa situation - today marks my tenth day on my expired visa and the maximum penalty - $625. I was also without my phone, and put my odds at 40% that I might recover it. I'd spoken to a guy late on Saturday night who had recovered my phone from the Eager Beaver, but he had not called on Sunday as he said he would, and I had a fatalistic week going already, why would that change? I sluggishly made my way down to Sun-Moon for my 1pm class, knowing that Tim (the full-time teacher back from Shenzhen) would be there and knowing that Robert had called me to cancel and knowing that good news of any kind was a long way away. Tim sent Robert a message to meet me, so I wasted 90 minutes waiting for pages to load on the 14.4 modems and drinking warm water. Robert showed, cut my schedule, gave me some other classes and I rolled. I met up with Mike in front of Rendezvous. He was excited, as he was given a clean bill of health - no AIDS, no STDs, no heart palpitations - a healthy 52 beats per minute - 5 fewer than Lance Armstrong apparently. We tried to find Ellen to sort out my visa, but she was not in the office. We dined at Steak King, which is not the King of Steaks in Shanghai. Eric West was, reportedly, an owner of more than one Steak King in the greater Shanghai area, at one point. Mike gave me the number of a guy named Mike, who had called him with my information regaring the whereabouts of my mobile phone. It was a secure line, bounced through 4 continents, but I got a hold of Mike, a British sounding bloke, and negotiated the terms of the pick-up. Mike was quite clear - no cops - and I've been through this kind of thing too much to get the local traffic assistants involved in international corporate espionage. I walked to Line 3, hopped on the Metro for ten minutes, then jumped on a motorcycle taxi a kilometer to the drop point. Mike had my phone, I had a a sixer of Suntory, still wrapped in the factory plastic, but he pushed me into a taxi and told the cabbie to drive. We went to a western restaurant with excellent homemade pasta and talked about politics for a long satisfying meal. He dropped me off at Zhongshan Metro, with my phone, as he sped off into a Suntory skyline....