DECEMBER, 2004

2005: JULY, JUNE, MAY, APRIL, MARCH, FEBRUARY, JANUARY,
2004: NOVEMBER, OCTOBER, SEPTEMBER, AUGUST, JULY, JUNE

Friday, December 31, 2004 - One more day of networking for a passport and visa. I walked Chris down to the Metro to take some passport pics, then put him on a train. I began the arduous task of cleaning my apartment and packing everything up. I made decent progress and by 3pm or so I was able to head out with Andy to go shopping at Xianyeng Market. I bought a North Face jacket for my travels, he bought some goodies for his assistant and sister. We cabbed back and met up with Chris. Around 6 or so we brought some bags over to Amy's place, then continued on to a Teppanyaki restaurant to meet up with the crew. Amy and Jim were a bit behind us - they didn't have water in their apartment - pipes frozen - so they were stuck showering with bottled water. I talked with an interesting guy named Simon about SE Asia. He's been down here many times and made some recommendations, though his hotel recommendation did not turn out to be gold. I began feeling sick and couldn't eat any more. I felt like laying down and not getting up until tomorrow, but I had a big long night in front of me. I forced down some sake and beer and tried to keep my gameface on, but it was a losing battle - I was sick. It was freezing outside, but colder - -5 degrees Celcius, 20 degrees or so Fahrenheit. We began the laborious task of finding a taxi after dinner, and walked for 20 minutes before scoring one. Andy, Chris and I continued on to Huihai Lu, which was at a standstill, and tried to find a club where we were all meeting up. I went to the wrong address - at least it was the right address, but apparently there are two 381 Huihai Lu. At midnight we were standing on the street, watching fireworks from behind some buildings. Mea Culpa. We got into another cab just to get out of the cold, then got out again immediately. I was feeling something fierce. We huddled in a Kedi store and I tried to liase with Michelle and Emma to meet up with us. They finally found us, and we walked to Rojam, the club we'd been at on Monday night. I departed, wussed out, I was exhausted and sick. I began walking and looking for a cab, but I was getting nowhere. I walked for an hour and a half in 20 degree temps and got sicker and sicker. I finally made it to Maoming Lu and waited for bargoers to get out of cabs. Finally, I struck gold and collapsed into a taxi. At home I bundled up and passed out quickly. So it went for my New Years...

Thursday, December 30, 2004 - I called Jennifer to help us try and track down the passport. It was becoming obvious that Chris might not be flying down with Andy and I, but we had to start crossing options off the list. We went down to Shanghai stadium to what we thought might be the bus station. We were more or less in Jennifer's hands. No luck there, so she recommended going to the Shanghai TV station. This didn't sound positive, but Chris and I thought maybe they had somehow procured it, and he would have to go on a game show of sorts and jello-wrestle a water buffalo to get it. Our search for the day ended there - no luck, to no surprise. We cabbed back to Xuhui and I met up with Andy. We took the Metro back up to Nanjing Lu, where I'd hoped Chris and Amy could participate in my favorite class. Only one of my original six students showed up, then three or four other girls I've never seen before. I don't know what happened, but my plan to play The Dating Game, drink beer and eat food quickly dissipated. I went into another boring lecture on natural disasters, but alas, it was my last class. Andy I caught a cab to meet up with Steve, who had some pay for me. He pitched a business partnership to me for when I get back, but judging on how he worked with Dave, I don't think I'm that interested. We'll cross those bridges later. It was snowing outside, the hardest snow in ten years, I was told. It was damn cold - colder than anything I was prepared for. Andy and I tried to get a cab back, but that proved impossible - everyone was trying to flag down a cab. We eventually got into a bus, but then it got into an accident, so we started walking the mile or so home. We stopped on the corner of Zhaojiabang Lu and Wanping Lu at the Malaysian restaurant for some red curry and tea. Chris eventually met up with us. He'd spent the day in cabs, getting nothing accomplished. We did some more dvd shopping, then met up with Amy, Jim, Tom and a host of frenchies for some Korean food. Andy and Chris got introduced to a nice blend of dogmeat and Soju. From there we got some beers for the cab ride and headed to the Karting arena. We arrived with a few hours to spare and got into character. I took the first race, though Jim narrowly edged me for the fastest time. I think a huge part of it is the car you get, which proved to be all but true in the second race. I had an absolute shit car and crashed four times on the same corner. I had a full speed crash into another guy that knocked the shit out of me. I had minor whiplash for a few days, which made the poor performance on the second race a little more worthwhile. At 2am we cabbed crosstown to go home.

Wednesday, December 29, 2004 - We got a late start and tried to deal with Chris' lost passport. I made some calls and got Emma working on it. She filed a report, but didn't have any good news on it. Dangerous Dave called me for our last hotel gig rendezvous and I hurried to meat him. He met me with a much needed McDonald's chicken sandwich. He didn't have a lesson plan and advised me to tell the class I was hungover and wanted to have a free talk. I opted for a slightly more responsible approach, but ended up having a free talk on the tsunami that just occurred. If I'm lucky, they might have remembered the word for big wave from earthquake. We'll see. I headed over to Amy's place to meet up with Andy and Chris. Amy was not feeling well and could not meet up with them, but we stormed in and said a hasty hello. I ate some shrimp shuijiai, then the three of us trekked up to Nanjing Lu to walk the strip. At 7:15 I hopped on a Metro train to Pudong to meet Tony for the last time. He didn't want to talk about anything related to business, so we spent a pleasant two hours talking about scuba diving, beaches in SE Asia, and the embarrassing state of politics in America. At ten pm I headed back to Puxi to meet up with Andy and Chris. We went out to eat at a seafood restaurant with my friend Jennifer. There were 40 or so tanks with all sorts of seafood - fresh and saltwater fish, eels, crabs, lobsters, shrimp and prawns, oysters, strange mollusks I've never seen before, turtles, snakes (yes, legit snakes) and jellyfish. We walked around and went shopping, but left most of the ordering to Jennifer. When Chinese people order in China, it often takes 10-15 minutes, and this time was no exception. She did well, and Andy and Chris got at least one authentic Chinese meal. There was a 30's era purple Cadillac that drove into the restaurant when we were finishing up eating. I snapped some pictures. It's one of the coolest cars I've seen in a while, too, and in mint condition. We were all beat again, so we headed home to try and get some rest.

Tuesday, December 28, 2004It was raining something fierce, so we bundled up and headed out after a nice breakfast of eggs, potatoes and coffee. We walked through the bonzai and fish market, then got a taxi to Jin'an Temple. We had a Brazilian BBQ lunch across the street from the temple and got adaquately sate. At the temple, things were anachronistic. Huge skyscrapers ringed the perimeter of the compound. It was nothing like the temples I've seen around Tibet and Sechuan - also Suzhou which isn't too far away, but it was nice to get a little Chinese Buddhist flavor into the trip. We trekked back to Xuhui and did some dvd shopping. Andy and Chris began the negotiations for the liberation of roughly 400 dvds. Around 8pm we went to the Tian Sheng hotpot near my old pad. Emma and Michelle met us there. We had a nice meal, lots of beer and strange Chinese foods, then walked over to Haoledie for some karaoke. It was a blast. The girls did most of the singing, though Chris got into character. We made a beer tower with the empties in our private living room. At some point we departed to Windows for some dancing. Several rum and cokes later we eventually trekked home...

Monday, December 27, 2004 - One hour in Gubei, then I met up with the Voice Dub peeps for a few hours at the recording studio. It went smoothly there, then I returned back to Xuhui for some sausage, eggs and rice for lunch. It's 5:56pm now, and Andy and Chris arrive at PVG in an hour and a half. Which means I need to leave now and buy beer, get on a bus, and let the games begin...continued...I arrived at the airport a few minutes late, which meant I only had to wait an hour and a half until their plane arrived. Then another 30 minutes until they made it through customs. I drank two of the three beers and played games on my iPod. Idle hands do the devils work. Around 9:30 they made it out. It was good to see some friends on my home turf. We had the last beer outside, then hopped on a bus home. It was packed, cause Andy is a ruthead and made us get on the bus at the last possible moment. This was the catalyst for a long series of events, starting with Chris putting his Life of Pi book up on the storage shelf. The book contained his passport and plane ticket. The book did not make it off the bus with him. Ugh. We didn't notice that night, and continued into Xuhui. After a few minutes at home, we walked over to a little bbq joint for some meats and veggies and beer. Good eats. From there we got a brew for the taxi ride to Rojam. The club was not boomin - Monday night, but it was ladies night. We were all tired, and only stayed an hour or so.

Sunday, December 26, 2004 - 9am came too early, but I got out of bed and walked around the corner to the Xuhui school. I gave an unapologetic lesson on Christmas that no one got anything out of. The students had little interest in participating, so I trudged through the fifty minutes and went back home. I talked to my family who was enjoying a nice Christmas evening. They had a computer set up to a TV and were going through pictures of my website. I hope that know that I (Jon Geilhufe) really have nothing to do with the day to day operations of it, and I've only lent my good name to give the site a little star power. It's like when I appeared in Bloodsport to fight Jean-Claude van Damme at the end of the movie. I only had a cameo, but I got top billing and starring honors. I headed back out a little after 12pm to return to LuWan. I taught two uneventful hours to two shy classes, then went to International House for my 4-5:30. That class has gotten very repetitive - the same 60 minute lesson for several months now, but whatever, it pays the bills, especially Bill the Tai Chi instructor and Bill on the C.O.C. (Communist Oversight Committee). At 6pm I had another class in Gubei. I taught a Japanese man for two hours. He had a decent background but couldn't speak very well at all. We had a good few hours, then I met with another student and "sold" him on why I should be his teacher. Too bad I'm leaving. He spoke damn good English, but it can always get better I guess. His New Years Resolutions were 1) make more $$ 2) learn more English. That spells fun, chinese style. My 8-10 cancelled, so I bought Bridge over the River Kwai, Clockwork Orange, BMW's The Driver and some Chinese take-out.

Saturday, December 25, 2004 - Another full day of teaching. Christmas this year would be a non-event. I taught Vicky for a few hours in the morning. She gave me a nice leather coin pouch. Anyone who knows me knows I don't use coins, don't even like using American bills under the $20. I just don't have the time to deal with the nickels and dimes in life. I changed some more light bulbs for her and caught a bus to the Metro station. I taught a few hours at Luwan and got a pencil case. I think the student stole it from another student, because he wanted to get rid of it, rather than give me a nice present. It's all the same to me, though I'll probably regift it later this week. I headed towards People's Square to meet up with Vivian and talk about the wonderful world of marketing for a few hours. We found a cafe and chatted for awhile, making little use of the lesson plan and marketing information I asked her to print out. She chose to bring her computer, which ran out of batteries after twenty minutes. Later that night I met up with Jim, Tom, Laura and another guy at Jim's place after eating a pear for dinner. It was a strange Chinese apple-pear, which more than replaced the overhyped traditional American Christmas dinner. We had a few beers, then headed over to Home Bar, THE gay bar of Shanghai. I didn't stay long, as an incident in the bathroom hastened my departure. I met up with Tim at his place for a beer, then we went on to Tang Hui for some Chinese rock music. Good scene, good music, strange Christmas.

Friday, December 24, 2004 - Christmas Eve. Christmas will be spent sleeping in until 11:30, one of my last sleep in mornings for a long time. Construction on 302, one floor down, has ceased for the time being. I didn't expect to be able to sleep past 9 this morning, but I must indulge in the great luxury of sleeping in, as many cannot afford such indulgences. Another egg breakfast and coffee sandwich, marking perhaps the 47th morning in a row. I have little to do today but laze around the apartment under the heater, listening to music and reading Bob Dylan's Chronicles. I made my way out a bit before six to teach some ten year olds about Christmas. Some of them knew a surprising amount about it, others couldn't tell me what their name was. I asked them what they wanted and got a lot of uniquely Chinese answers: money, pencil boxes, rulers and computer games. "Oh, what computer game would you like?" "I don't know." Hmm, ok, great. I played my WWWWWH game for 30 minutes.

Thursday, December 23, 2004- Lisa came over a bit before 9:30. We had a cup of coffee and then went next door to meet up with the Voice Dub people. We prepped for 90 minutes, making small changes to the text and establishing the mood. I headed out around 2pm to the Howard Johnson. My six were in character again. They taught me dou bi - Maybe if you meet a nice girl and pay her money, you will dou bi! Good to know. I taught them "pornstar", or rather, they taught it to themselves. After class I met up with Jennifer, a student, who has been persistent in getting me out. We went out to a great dinner at a place called We Go. It was surprisingly cheap, 138 yuan, considering it was a white tablecloth restaurant that charges for the warm cloth and tea. Jennifer ordered a lot of food, which is consistent with Chinese dining habits. This conflicts with my German proclivity to not waste any food. I did the best I could, but Chinese dishes always have a lot of sauce and soup and stuff not meant to be eaten. Sate, I went home and watched Croupier and the rest of Godfather I. I'm banking movie time like a squirrel's nuts.

Wednesday, December 22, 2004 - Started watching Godfather I, then met up with Dangerous Dave. He gave me the lesson plan for today and tomorrow. We headed up to our respective hotels on the Metro. I waited for 20 minutes for the first person to get to class. Another ten minutes and I'd've been a free man. New classroom, VIP Room #4. After class I headed home and snacked on delicious Shanghai street food, most of which I don't know the name of.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004 - I met up with Amy and Alex to do some Christmas shopping at Xiangyang Market. We had some lunch, then I picked up a few things for my family and friends. Around 4 Amy and I paid for our Thailand tickets. It was nice to get rid of the grand in red notes I had, especially for something like airline tix. Everything is set for the transportation down. I got a one way, cause I figure I'll just buy a nice young Thai wife and not leave. When expectations are low, disappointment is averted, and disappointment, like nostalgia, can be a stinky cologne. I taught my man Tony Guo out in Pudong for a few hours. He had to meet a French boss, so we rehearsed lots of conversations. Smooth sailing. I caught the last Metro train home to Puxi...

Monday, December 20, 2004 - I taught out in Gubei. Alice is a 34 year old housewife from Taiwan. A few minutes before class I decided on a Christmas lesson and wanted to see where that would take us. It got us pretty far, as her English is quite good. Alice has a lot of time on her hand, so Mondays allow her to go to a violin lesson, then an English lesson before going back home to spend time with her kids. We talked about what Christmas stood for in Shanghai, but more importantly what it doesn't stand for. Religion is a lot of things to a lot of people in China, but the worship on money will not get many into their heavens. More on this on The Prof. We talked a bit about her husband. He got transferred out to Shanghai from Taipei about a year ago, and is described by his wife as very boring. His only job is to give his money to his wife. This absolves him of any responsibility to give her presents during any occasions of any kind, show any interest in vacations, or spend much time at home. "But surely a woman of your beauty must get lots of jewelry from her successfully husband!" Flirting with housewives does oft a good teacher make. Dangerous Dave would probably have a few words to say on this thread. I did more dvd shopping, without success. Had a good phone call with a friend back home that made me a bit homesick, especially during this season, but nostalgia can be a stinky cologne. I went out to dinner with dangerous dave and his friend Lucar at a great Teppanyaki restaurant behind Grand Gateway. Good eats for 100 yuan.

Sunday, December 19, 2004 - A long, long day of teaching. A record at 8.5 hours. I got up a quarter after 7. I thought that it would be dark until 9, and that the streets would be deserted, but an early morning sun cast its rays on workaday Shanghai, providing little warmth to the cold and wet commute to Pudong. I fought a headache and malaise during three morning classes, then headed out for some nuirou, shucai and mifan for lunch. I taught two afternoon classes, utilizing my ingenious WWWWWH lesson plan. If the students speak enough language, I can get 30-40 minutes out of this, speaking only about 5. Ask me about it someday. I caught a bus out of Pudong and headed home to grab another book, then over to International House. My 4-5:30 went exactly as it goes every week. Same jokes, same examples, same material, but there are new students every week. I cabbed up to Jiangsu to meet with Vicky. We did our English thing, I ate some curry and rice, changed some light bulbs, then trekked home. I found a new dvd shop and bought The Bruce Lee Collection [The Big Boss, Fist of fury, Way of the Dragon, Enter the Dragon, Game of Death II, Fist of Fury II, Jeet Kune Do, BRUCE LEE the Man & Legend, The Legend] also The Killing Fields, Hitchcock's Spellbound, The Manchurian Candidate (yes, the original), and Moto Kids (starring Lorenzo Lamas, a christmas present for G. Hudson).

Saturday, December 18, 2004 - The beginning of a long weekend of work. The proceeds from this and next weekend will get me through a month or so in SE Asia, if I don't get robbed during my sex tour. I taught from 9:30 - 11:30 in Luwan, then from 1-2pm. I was scheduled for 2-3pm as well, but this got cancelled, which means they'll try to avoid payment and I'll have to go through all the usual motions of getting all the money I have coming to me. I taught one more round, 5-7, also in Xuhui, then headed to Pudong to meet Tony and his girlfriend. I get along with Tony well, but his girlfriend didn't seem to like me much. Our lessons devolve into free talk, but we do a good job of staying on business. His girlfriend thought we rambled too much and that I was probably wasting his precious time and money. Like Snoop says - you know the name of the game, your bitch chose me. We wrapped it up around 10:30 and I caught the last Metro train back home. I met up with Tim and a student of his for beers at Harleys. Bottomless popcorn, cheap pints, free pool and darts - I don't know why no one goes there. Three reasons I suppose: Location, Location, Location (though Woody Boyd will tell you that that's only one reason).

Friday, December 17, 2004 - I didn't have class until the evening, so I took care of some business - post office, passport pics, then I found a tripod for my Canon. Same thing probably costs 10 times what I would pay stateside. I met up with Vivian and talked about marketing for almost three hours. She wanted lesson plans, recommendations, measurable success in a short period of time. I placated her as best I could, though in reality not much is going to happen in a few meetings. I can't believe that people want to spend their Friday and Saturday nights learning English from me, especially at the prices they pay. Oh well. I walked to mile home, stopping to get some shish-kebabs. Didn't get charged by a nice Chinese guy manning the grill.

Thursday, December 16, 2004 - I taught at Howard Johnson, then walked to Henan Rd to catch the Metro out to Pudong. I found a place for Tony and I to meet near the subway station and read LP SE Asia for an hour before he arrived. We rapped for a few hours on his role as a salesman, then I headed home to watch a bad recording of Oceans 12.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004 - I picked up my cash at Ladder, then confirmed some flight info before meeting up with Dave. He gave me a shitty lesson plan on phrasal verbs and we headed to our respective hotels. My students at The 4 Seasons were not impressed with the phrasal verbs, but shit, we all had to be there, so might as well try to have fun, right? My HoJo students understand this better. I got some guotie after class, then caught the Metro out to Zhongshan station and a motorcycle ride out to Gubei. I taught a 6-7 there with Alice, my bored Taiwanese housewife. Trekked home, bought some dvds - The Incredibles, Oceans 12, Kill Bill, and Taxi Driver. Watched Taxi Driver. Interesting. Ask Krummy to elaborate.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 - I cabbed out to Gubei for an 11:30 - 12:30, found out my 1-2:30 was cancelled. I headed home, then over to Int'l House where I met Tony for our last official (paid through the school) class. Battled a wicked cold.

Monday, December 13, 2004 - Amy and I worked with the Voice Dub people on the final recording. I had come down with a cold, most likely due to the extenuating circumstances I encountered on Saturday evening. We got through the recordings and headed home. We walked to Jim and Mike's, then cabbed to a Xinjiang restaurant for a Pointer send-off. He had an early flight in the morning, so Jim, Amy, Eric, Ben, Marielle, Nick and I dined and drank with Poindexter.

Sunday, December 12, 2004 - I woke up to my alarm at 8:30, feeling something fierce. I tried to get the shower going, but it was only issuing cold water. This was all the motivation I needed to call in sick to my morning classes. There were only two of them, 25 minutes away by taxi, with kids no less, and I knew I would not be standing up any students, as their regular teacher would be there. I headed out a bit after noon to meet with Amy from the voice studio and her friend, who wanted to practice some business English. We went next door to the Sydney Cafe and chatted for 90 minutes or so. Vivian wanted to expand her vocabulary and practice her oral English. She requested I use my entire vocabulary [read: don't dumb it down, as I usually do with Chinese students learning English]. I was having problems finishing my sentences, but I managed to make a decent impression and line up another session for Friday night. The Chinese students looking to improve their business English all seem to want to make quick progress with little effort and without spending much time with a native English speaker. What are ya gonna do? I returned home and rested for a few minutes before walking down to International House for my Sunday afternoon class. Things went as could be expected there. I cabbed up to Jiangsu to meet with Vicky. We had a good time, almost finishing the book we've been working on for a little while and dining on Taiwanese noodles. I helped change some lightbulbs, then took a bus home at 8:45. I bought the Godfather box set, Touching the Void, and Bangkok Hilton for 55 yuan ($7). Place your dvd order now for early January delivery. Watched a couple of Sopranos episodes, finished the Da Vinci Code, slept well...

Saturday, December 11, 2004 - I was on the corner of Wanping Lu and Nandan Lu at 9:40 to meet Tina for my morning classes. For the first time in months I beat her - she didn't need to call me as she has to do every other morning. I taught a few classes around my 'hood, then headed over to Guilin Lu/Wuzhong Lu and met up with Ludo. He had my passport and new visa. They say the easiest way to get something done is to go in the backdoor - a derivation of guanxi - and Ludo helped me take care of this. He knows some people at the PSB office (visa-processing center) and took care of the logistics for 3,150 yuan. I would have paid 4,660 yuan and trekked out to Wusong twice. Tis who you know in this town. Visa problems in China? I'll be your middle-man. From there I met Tony again for a few hours at a coffee shop. I explained stocks, bonds, mutual funds and investment strategy as best I could. At 3:50 I departed to go to LuWan and teach two classes of kids. We had a good time, though I benched a few kids. At 6:30 I stepped outside and walked down Huihai to Maoming. Along the way I randomly found an ICBC bank that was still open. I had 3300 yuan burning a hole in my pocket and I'd just received confirmation from Florian that he wanted the place, which was the green light to pay rent this month. I made the deposit, then joined up with Mike, Jim, Arnold and his girlfriend Joyce at a sushi restaurant. We were set up with an 88 rmb all you can eat and drink. Things progressed quickly and we filled up on delicious sushi, sashimi, tempura, and lots of beer and sake. The sake swiftly took control and Dr. Jekyll took a seat in the back, while Mr. Hyde began driving. Details are sketchy, but I may or may not have been throwing bottles against the wall and conducting myself in a very professional manner. I probably told people I was French. We departed at some point and went to Rojam. There was trouble getting in, for reasons I am not entirely privy to, and I never got inside to see the Paul van Dyke show, a show I would have really liked to have seen. I made it home in one piece, and in a miraculous stroke of luck, did not lose my ipod, the 3 books I had brought, my phone, my passport, my money, knife or keys. Thank you, lucky stars.

Friday, December 10, 2004 - Amy and I met to do the voice recording preparation next door. We worked for three hours editing the dialogues. I went over to a student's apartment for dinner. I watched championship table tennis on TV for several hours. A Chinese-Austrian lost to a Danish guy in the semis, then another Austrian beat the Olympic champion, a Chinese guy, in the Finals. I don't think I would have lasted too long in this tournament. What are you gonna do? I got tired of helping Jennifer with her English, which was the reciprocal part of dinner, so I took off around mid. It was a delicious home-cooked dinner, so I think I can manage this tutoring arrangement for a few more weeks.

Thursday, December 9, 2004 - I had a 1 to 2:30 with my Japanese and Korean students in Gubei. We talked about cuisine and dining habits in Korea, Japan, China, the US, Germany and Italy. It was the second of three times I would teach this lesson in 2 days. At 2:30 I got into a taxi and headed towards People's Square. I was in stop and go traffic and obviously late. I had a 3pm class at the Howard Johnson, but there was little I could do but sit in traffic, read, and wait. The other direction did not have any traffic. They guy who arranged this called me, but I didn't answer. I arrived about 25 minutes late, said my apologies and started teaching. The class didn't really mind. I taught until almost 5:30, answering their questions about what we call a man who loves other men, women who love women, and men who look like women. Good fun. Around midnight I joined up with Amy, Jim, Mike, James and Alex at Tang Hui. I guess I was late, as they departed as I ordered my second beer. I stayed and watched the DJ-diva spin hip-hop beats and talked with a Japanese friend of a friend...

Wednesday, December 8, 2004 - I headed up to the hotel circuit with dangerous dave. I taught a shitty lesson at the 4 Seasons, then headed over to Huihai Lu to meet my tutor. We ate some dinner, I learned to say useful things like knife and fork in chinese. I met up with a French guy named Florian at my apartment. I showed him the crib and we discussed the possibility of having him rent it. It went well, as he later agreed to take the apartment.

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 - I trekked out to Gubei to teach two Japanese and Korean housewives. Dangerous Dave lined up the gig and it was smooth. No text, no lesson plan, just 90 minutes of chattin. We talked about traveling, the who, why, when, where, what and hows of it. They both decided not to bring their husband to Europe and America. They didn't think there was anything strange with that. "Is better he stays and works, we will need the money." Very well then. I met up with Chen, a student I had for one lesson. He's starting a business here and speaks pretty good English. He wants me to get involved, somehow, but neither of us could find a capacity that I would be useful. Americans are good window-dressing, so he's confident that people will buy shit just cause I'm pushing it. He's from Wenzhou, a city on the sea about 500 kms south of Shanghai. He's trying to get me to go down there with him next week for a wedding and to give some lectures. He'll arrange everything - some paid lectures, a prominent role in the wedding [it's apparently very good luck to have westerners involved in a modern chinese wedding] and a tour of some factories and shops. I'll sleep on it. I met another student, Tony Guo, who I would be tutoring in business English. That basically means we find somewhere to sit and chat about "business" - related topics. It went smoothly and we made arrangements to meet again Saturday.

Monday, December 6, 2004 - The State Department has sealed the events of this day. Should it be declassified in the future, the staff at the Priv will make every effort to provide a thorough update.

Sunday, December 5, 2004 - I didn't feel as bad as I thought I might in the morning. Sometimes I'm more tired after 9 hours of sleep than 4; you do the math. I met up with Linda in the subway station and headed up to People's Square. I was teaching two hours at Novartis for kids of people who worked there. Linda had given me the wrong f&*#ing book, so I had to scrap my lesson plan and look over the shoulder of the students. They were pretty smart, so it made killing time easy. I walked out with two 13, 14 year old students and declined their offer to come over for lunch. I headed back to Xuhui, stopping for some shuijiao and dvds. I'm working on my dvd collection, whether I watch them or not before I take off. For a buck a piece this is the time to put together a library. I watched another Sopranos episode and tried to sleep a bit before my 4pm class at International House. The 4pm went smoothly and I got out quickly. I bought more dvds and ate a burger at Sydney Cafe for dinner.

Saturday, December 4, 2004 - Vicky and I did our tutoring thing for a few hours - I helped her write a few emails to her bosses - then bussed over to Xuhui to meet with Tina from Ladder. We took the Metro and bus up near Fudan University. I taught three hours there, then made my way back down to Maoming Lu to meet up with Cindy - another Sun-Moon teacher - and her boyfriend, as well as Mike, Jim and Amy. The Kangeroo was having another year anniversary and had 50 kuai all you can drink. I couldn't get in the door, so I took my krew next door to windows for some cheap drinks. We chatted a bit, then met up with the usual suspects at the Blarney Stone on Donping. The All-Blacks were playing the Barbarians, but it wasn't much of a match. I chatted it up with Kieran from Ireland and Annette from Wales. People from Ireland are very nice, I've found. The 40 kuai pints, 65 kuai Guinness didn't keep me there too long. I got talked into going over to the Bund to meet up with Ben and everyone else. I tried to go home, but it was of little use. We got some beers for the drive and headed over. Nice bar, I hadn't been inside - though I'd been there on Halloween and not entered. I stayed till 3am, at which point I couldn't ignore my 8:30 rendezvous a little later in the morning.

Friday, December 3, 2004 - One last Sun-Moon class. I was blissful to be severing ties with the school, and more importantly, the administration. Robert proved to be the most incompetent person I've worked with in a long time. I've had bosses I haven't liked, but they've at least been able to do their job. I've had co-workers that haven't liked their job much, but at least they went in and did it. Robert was the epitomy of bad-business --> china style. I taught my last two hours, grabbed my time cards and went next door to "headquarters". I turned in four time cards, the fourth being my Wednesday morning timecard that had hours already paid. The payout system at Sun-Moon is abysmal. They take scraps of paper and write out the hours, wage, date and time. Each time I have to remind them of my wage. I can add transportation cost in at will. They draw a faint line through your timecard and consider that paid out. I was a little concerned that I had gotten a little greedy - I was requesting to get paid on hours that clearly had been paid out, but I figured it was worth a shot. I could play the ignorant card (I play it well, you know) if the pit boss had a word with me. They couldn't process it for another hour or so, so I went to the travel agency, then to International House to pick up some materials for the weekend. Back at the Sun-Moon office they started the paper-slip game and I was confident it would work. I thought I was going to be able to get my pay and not deal with Robert, but he came back at the end of the shuffle. He gave me grief about my 123 yuan taxi receipts that I'd acquired going all over Minghang earlier that week. It wasn't my fault, it wasn't their fault, but I sure as hell wasn't going to eat that money. I pointed out to him that if I got all my money he wouldn't have to deal with me, and I wouldn't have to deal with him. He signed off on the hours, the taxi fare, and they interview pay. All in all, an extra 800 yuan. Try to laugh about it now, but isn't it funny how everything works out, oh well, I guess the joke's on ______. I walked down 14 flights of stairs into the warm Shanghai rain. I taught three classes in Xuhui for Ladder. The first two classes were with 15 kids who did not want to be there. I was disciplinin most of the time, but killed two hours before heading into my last class. I taught nine quiet girls until 9 then headed over to a students house for a little party. Jennifer was having a dinner party with a few different people, so I showed and got my fill. She cooked up hairy crabs, chicken and peppers, beef, duck, eggplant and mushroom soup. It was the best home-cooked chinese meal I've had in China, which isn't saying a whole lot cause I haven't eaten more than a few home-cooked meals here. I found myself teaching a little more english than I wanted to, so I made my exit into the cold shanghai rain.

Thursday, December 2, 2004 - I taught at the Howard Johnson and tried to make the most of the lesson. The students are early twenties Shanghainese, so they want to have a good time and not learn grammar. We started with a "what do you want to do when you get older" exercise which I renamed "Dare to Dream". They had very little imagination; one student said he dreamed of being a waiter when he was older, and since he was already a waiter, he had already achieved his dream. The others did not show much more ambition. We went on with the role-playing exercise. Cody played a Japanese businessman checking into their hotel, and perpetuated the stereotypes. "I want entertainment and liquor in my suite! Bring China doll women and Hennessy!" I don't think it was the first time he played out the role. After class I met with my tutor again, worked a bit, then met up with Amy for some green and red curry at Thai Thai on Tianyaoqiao Lu. She went back home to Jim's, I watched some more Sopranos, chipping away at Season 3.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 - I had my last class with my favorite class at Sun-Moon. I taught a lesson on family and parts of the body. I'm not sure if they learned anything, but it was entertaining. I went out to lunch afterwards with a few of the students at Metrobyte, then walked over to Dangerous Dave's place. He gave me some materials for the Hotel workers I'd be teaching later that afternoon. We caught the Metro up to People's Square and went our separate ways. I taught at the 4 Seasons, then headed over to a cafe on Huihai Lu to work with my language partner a bit. I stayed until 6:30, then headed over to Pudong to teach my Wednesday night Sun-Moon class. It was my last class there, too, so I made it as entertaining and worthwhile for them. I let them write on a piece of paper before class what they wanted to learn in their English class. I was hoping for a little direction, as the Sun-Moon text and curriculum is pretty worthless, but the results varied little - "I want to learn speaking english, I like to practice new words." I guess I was hoping for requests to learn some gangsta english, or pick-up lines, or have a discussion on how communism is better than American-style democracy. C'est la vie. I headed back to Hengshan Lu, where I met Tim and drank a bit with him. We started at 88, had a few drinks there, then walked over to Cotton's to try and meet up with Jim and Amy. They'd departed, so we grabbed a beer and a cab and went to his pad to get some scratch. I took him to Harley's where we chatted on the vagaries of the Sun-Moon educational system (he is the full-time teacher there) and the administrative incompetence. He's taking over my Wednesday morning class, so hope he enjoys it as much as I did. We closed out Harley's and I walked home, experiencing a moment of satori on Nandan Lu.